Why do you keep attracting the same type of person?
Why You Keep Attracting the Same Type of Person (And How to Break the Pattern)
Have you ever looked at your relationship history and noticed a disturbing pattern? Different faces, different names, but somehow... the same person keeps showing up?
You're not imagining it. And you're definitely not alone.
This isn't about bad luck, poor judgment, or some cosmic joke. What you're experiencing is your subconscious mind running programs that were installed long before you were consciously choosing partners.
Let's talk about what's actually happening—and more importantly, how to change it.
Understanding Subconscious Relationship Programming
Your subconscious mind is like a sophisticated computer running in the background of your life. It was programmed during your early years through:
Your parents' relationship dynamics - What you witnessed became your template for "normal"
How you were loved (or not loved) - The conditions placed on affection became your expectations
Early attachment experiences - How safe you felt determined what feels familiar now
Family patterns and beliefs - Inherited ideas about love, worthiness, and relationships
Childhood wounds - Unhealed pain that your subconscious is trying to resolve
These programs run automatically. They don't ask permission. They don't check with your conscious mind. They simply execute based on what was installed years ago.
How These Programs Choose Your Partners
Your subconscious has a primary directive: seek what's familiar.
Not what's healthy. Not what's good for you. What's familiar .
This is why:
Chaos can feel like love - If your childhood was unpredictable, calm partners might feel boring or even unsafe
Earning affection feels normal - If love was conditional growing up, unconditional love might feel suspicious or "too good to be true"
Emotional unavailability feels comfortable - If a parent was distant, you might unconsciously seek partners who recreate that dynamic
Conflict feels like connection - If the only time you got attention was during drama, peace might feel like disconnection
Fixing people feels like purpose - If you had to caretake as a child, healthy partners might feel like you have no role
Your subconscious is literally scanning for people who will recreate the emotional environment of your childhood—not to hurt you, but because it's trying to resolve those early wounds.
It thinks: "If I can get this unavailable person to finally choose me, I'll heal the wound of my unavailable parent."
But it doesn't work that way.
The Patterns You Might Be Repeating
Let's get specific. Here are some common subconscious relationship programs:
The Unavailable Attractor You keep choosing emotionally unavailable partners. They're interested at first, then pull away. You chase, they distance. The pattern repeats with different people but the same dynamic.
Subconscious program running: "Love means working hard to earn someone's attention and affection."
The Fixer Pattern You're drawn to people with problems you think you can solve. You become their therapist, cheerleader, or savior. Your needs take a backseat to fixing them.
Subconscious program running: "My worth comes from being needed. Love means sacrifice."
The Drama Cycle Your relationships are intense—passionate highs and devastating lows. When things are calm, you feel anxious or bored. You might unconsciously create conflict to feel connected.
Subconscious program running: "Intensity equals love. Calm means something is wrong."
The Self-Sabotage Loop When relationships get too good, too close, or too healthy, you find ways to sabotage them. You pick fights, pull away, or find fatal flaws in your partner.
Subconscious program running: "I'm not worthy of healthy love. Getting close means getting hurt."
Why Your Conscious Mind Can't Override These Programs
You might be thinking: "But I know this pattern is unhealthy. Why do I keep doing it?"
Here's the challenging truth: Your subconscious mind is significantly more powerful than your conscious mind.
Studies suggest the subconscious processes about 11 million bits of information per second, while the conscious mind handles about 40 bits per second.
Your conscious mind can recognize the pattern. It can make resolutions. It can promise "never again."
But when you meet someone who triggers that subconscious program, your conscious mind doesn't stand a chance. The program runs automatically.
This is why:
You can see red flags but ignore them
You can know better but still choose the same type
You can promise yourself "this time will be different" but find yourself in the same situation
You can go to therapy and understand your patterns intellectually, but still repeat them
Understanding isn't enough. The programs need to be cleared at the subconscious level.
What the "Clear Relationship Patterns and Blocks" Clearing Releases
This Saturday's clearing is specifically designed to address these subconscious relationship programs. It works to release:
Inherited relationship patterns from your family lineage
Childhood programming about what love looks like and feels like
Attachment wounds that make unhealthy dynamics feel safe
Beliefs about your worthiness to receive healthy love
Subconscious agreements to repeat your parents' relationship patterns
Fear-based protection mechanisms that keep you choosing familiar over healthy
Past relationship trauma stored in your energy system
Blocks to recognizing healthy, available partners
The clearing works at the subconscious and energetic level—where these programs actually live.
How to Use This Saturday's Clearing
The clearing will be released this Saturday, February 1st, as both a video and audio format.
For best results:
Find a quiet space where you won't be interrupted for 20-30 minutes
Listen with headphones if possible (helps with the hypnotic elements)
Allow yourself to relax - you don't need to "do" anything, just receive
Don't judge your experience - some people feel shifts immediately, others notice changes over the following days
Listen multiple times - these programs have been running for years; they may need multiple clearing sessions
Pay attention to your dreams - subconscious clearing often processes through dreams
Notice who you're attracted to in the days and weeks following - the shift might be subtle at first
What Changes After Clearing These Programs
When you clear subconscious relationship patterns, the shifts can be profound:
Immediate changes you might notice:
Certain people suddenly feel different to you
Red flags become obvious instead of ignorable
You feel less tolerant of dynamics that don't serve you
Healthy, available people start to feel more attractive
You have more clarity about what you actually want
Longer-term transformations:
You stop repeating the same relationship pattern
Different types of people show up in your life
You recognize unhealthy dynamics earlier
You trust yourself more in relationship choices
You feel worthy of healthy, reciprocal love
You can receive love without suspicion or sabotage
Integration Support: What to Do After Clearing
Clearing subconscious programs is powerful, but integration is equally important.
In the week following the clearing:
Journal about your relationship history - Write down the patterns you've noticed. Sometimes seeing them on paper helps your conscious mind support the subconscious shift.
Notice your reactions to people - Pay attention if someone who usually attracts you suddenly doesn't, or if someone you'd normally overlook catches your attention.
Be gentle with yourself - As programs clear, old emotions might surface. This is normal and healthy. Let them move through you.
Don't make major relationship decisions immediately - Give yourself time to integrate the clearing before making big choices.
Use the clearing multiple times - These patterns have deep roots. Multiple clearing sessions strengthen the transformation.
Assignment: Pattern Recognition Exercise
Before Saturday's clearing, do this simple but powerful exercise:
Step 1: List your last 3-5 significant relationships (romantic, friendship, or professional—whichever feels most relevant)
Step 2: For each relationship, write down:
What attracted you to this person initially
What the main conflict or challenge was
How the relationship ended (or what the current challenge is)
Step 3: Look for the common threads:
Do you see the same type of person appearing?
Do you notice the same conflicts repeating?
Is there a familiar feeling or dynamic across these relationships?
Step 4: Ask yourself: "What does this pattern remind me of from my childhood or family?"
This exercise helps your conscious mind identify what your subconscious has been running automatically. Awareness doesn't clear the program, but it helps you recognize when it's active.
Related Clearings
If you resonate with this topic, these related clearings will support your relationship healing work:
Release Fear of Intimacy and Vulnerability - https://vibrationelevation.com/post/release-fear-of-intimacy-and-vulnerability (coming Feb 8)
Clear Self-Love and Worthiness Blocks - https://vibrationelevation.com/post/clear-self-love-and-worthiness-blocks (coming Feb 15)
Release Subconscious Relationship Sabotage - https://vibrationelevation.com/post/release-subconscious-relationship-sabotage (coming Feb 22)
Clear Fear and Anxiety Blocks - https://vibrationelevation.com/post/clear-fear-and-anxiety-blocks
The Truth About Your Patterns
Here's what I want you to know: You're not broken.
The fact that you keep attracting the same type of person doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It means your subconscious is running programs that were installed when you were too young to choose them.
These programs made sense once. They were survival mechanisms. They were your child-self's best attempt to navigate an environment you couldn't control.
But they're not serving you anymore.
You don't have to keep repeating these patterns. You don't have to resign yourself to "this is just how I am" or "I always choose the wrong person."
The programs can be cleared. The patterns can shift. Different types of people can start showing up in your life.
It starts with recognizing what's been running in the background. And then clearing it at the subconscious level where it lives.
This Saturday's clearing is designed to do exactly that.
You deserve relationships that feel healthy, reciprocal, and safe. You deserve to be chosen by someone who's available, present, and capable of meeting you where you are.
That future is possible. It starts with clearing what's been blocking it.
